small realizations

today i was driving to starbucks. same route, same stoplights. i'm really trying to refrain from using text vernacular but it was "nbd." you get the point. as i waited at the light, i just happened to stop right in front of a homeless person holding up a cardboard sign. i don't even remember what it said and frankly i don't even remember what he looked like. oh actually yes i do because i creepily looked at my side mirror when he walked past me, down the line of cars. the first thing i did when i spotted the homeless guy in front of me was turn down my music. why? because i didn't want to be that completely oblivious and unsympathetic person who blasts dubstep in her car while a person without a roof over his head stands three feet away from her. but what did that matter? i didn't offer or give him anything. i looked around my car wishing i had a care package to give him or even some spare change but all that met my eyes were strands of hair and the numerous bits of lint on my passenger seat and floor. in place of not having anything salvageable to give this man, i almost took out my phone, the perfect social barrier. but then i realized something. why do i have to feel guilty that i'm just sitting in my car ignoring the homeless guy? why do i feel the need to look busy and seem preoccupied when i've done nothing wrong? it's not my fault that he's homeless. i am under no obligation to care about this man just because i have more than him. right?
i was reminded of the book, animal farm, and the whole communistic ideal of equality versus the democratic value of individualism. or robin hood stealing from the rich and giving to the poor. do the more materialistically advantaged have a responsibility to care for the disadvantaged? why did i, as a rightful citizen of this overtly individualistic, independence emphasizing society, care?
because even though humans are intrinsically immoral and evil and inclined to do bad, we all have this thing called compassion. because we are compassionate we feel a twinge of sadness when we see starving african faces. or a mother crying at the funeral of her child. or even that stranger with ripped jeans and disheveled hair on the sidewalk.