Flight essentials

Amid the noteworthily horrible service, the lack of personal television screens, and barely edible food on my international flight home, I vowed to never again forget to bring these few non-negotiable essentials for enduring a flight of this (low) pedigree.

1. a beanie for that post flight greasy hair

2. moccasins that are easy to slip on and off

3. a face mask is a must for saving your skin in the stale airplane air; looking like the Phantom of the Opera in air most definitely trumps having cakey, flakey skin when you step off the plane

4. a perfume rollerball to mask your nose from your own body odor as well as that of the person next to you

5. noise canceling headphones to drown out annoying people

6. a water bottle to keep you hydrated and because you know the flight attendant will be annoyed by you asking for water more than twice

7. and last but not least, hot Cheetos or some sort of snack to keep you from potential starvation since you're obviously not going to be full from the airplane mush